It’s been 11 days since my last post! Oops! Sorry for that little busy-week, birthday-weekend hiatus! I left late last week for a trip with my husband to Massachusetts to visit family and had a wonderful time celebrating my 35th birthday.
Wow! 35. I keep saying that I really just turned 34 again, but alas, that is not true. I am 35. And 35 used to be my “scary age.” All throughout my 20s I always looked at 35 as this important age. Like the age when I needed to have it all together. When all my ducks should be in a row, and I should know exactly what I want out of my career, my relationships … I should have my health and weight and all that worked out, too.
Well, clearly that’s not the case! But you know what? It doesn’t worry me. Not really. I have moments when certain things keep me up at night. But for the most part, it’s hard to deny how blessed I am. I have a wonderful husband who I just married in front of an amazing group of family and friends who love and support me every day. I have a beautiful home and a fun and engaging job to go to every day. And I have growth opportunities to challenge myself with to become more well-rounded, more fit, more healthy and get involved in my community. There’s not a lot more that I could ask for!
I’m happy that I’m at the stage in life when “little things” are starting to matter less and less. And by “little things,” I mean the things that used to plague me in my teens and 20s. Like pleasing everyone. Man, I still struggle with this sometimes. But I’ve come to realize that people aren’t as easily disappointed in me as I think they might be. In fact, other people don’t concern themselves with me as much as I think they do … obviously, they have their own concerns! So I worry less about pleasing other people. I worry less about how people will look at an outfit I’m wearing, or if I decide to decline an invitation to do things. It’s becoming easier for me to say no to some things and yes to others.
I’m also at a stage where I think, I hope, I’m becoming less shy about going after what I want. I am spending more time identifying the things that are important to me and my desire to work toward those things continues to grow … but most importantly, my confidence that I can actually attain those things is pretty high! I still have that self-doubt that creeps in from time to time, but I’m having an easier time talking myself out of that mindset.
So what does all of this mean? What does turning 35 mean to me? I guess it means that it’s time to throw myself into being me, going for what I want out of life, and not limiting myself. Rather than “starting” to be OK with this stuff, I need to just be OK with it! It’s a learning experience and something to work on, but learning to simply be seems like a great way to start off 35.