The Jerk and The Reality

Yesterday I had a not-so-fun experience in the Target parking lot. I was pulling in to return some shorts (that I wore in my apt. for 10 min. and realized promptly that they were too big! Yay!) and saw a spot in the aisle next to me that was open. So I pulled around, only to have this HUGE pick-up truck stop on my left in front of the open space, preventing me from turning left into the spot. I looked at him, kinda like “Are you going to move?” then realized he’d stopped…in the middle of the aisle…to speak to someone. Normally I might just let this go, but I was in a rush and I was annoyed that he’d blocked this open space. So I gave him a dirty look and drove off, in search of another spot.

As I was getting out of my car, I see his truck pulling up and I think “Surely he’s not going to speak to me.”

But of course he did.

He said something to the effect of me having an attitude, to which I said, “Well, you were blocking an empty space.” He replied, “No I wasn’t, fatass.” And drove off.

Fatass.

Wow. I don’t know why, but that just hurt. I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes as I entered the store and I was steeling myself against crying, but I really, really wanted to. I wanted to cry for the girl who weighed 275 lbs. who just wanted to get the motivation to finally start losing weight. And I wanted to cry for the 224 lb. girl I am, who still has a ways to go, but has come so far only to be called a “fatass” by some jerk.

Sticks and stones and all that…say what you will, but words do hurt.

Later that evening, after telling that story to a couple friends and the BF and them reassuring me that he’s clearly just an asshole, I realized that I still put too much weight on other people’s impression of me. I want to scream at them: “I’ve lost 51 lbs.! I completed a half marathon!” But some people just want to judge other people and call others hateful names, no matter the truth or lack thereof behind them.

As I left the gym last night, after finishing a 1-hour Body Pump class, followed by a 1-hour Kickboxing class, I thought to myself that this is what it’s all about. Turning negative energy into positive energy. Focusing on my accomplishments and my goals. Not letting the ugliness of some random dude get to me.

This morning I had coffee (or iced tea, rather) with Jen West, a truly inspiring woman. She’s lost almost 50 lbs. and documented her weight loss by posting pictures of herself each week in a bikini. So brave! Talking to her this morning gave me such hope for my own journey; she’s very realistic but also driven and determined to stick to her goals. She left me feeling encouraged and like we’d become fast friends.

These are the people I choose to surround myself with. The others, The Jerks, are just white noise.

9 Comments on The Jerk and The Reality

  1. [SMASH]
    April 13, 2011 at 3:29 pm (6 years ago)

    That douche was going to say anything hurtful he could think of. I'm sorry you had to experience this! 🙁 Words do hurt!

    Reply
  2. thatswhatsummersaid
    April 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm (6 years ago)

    What. An. Asshole.

    It's true—words do hurt. I tell myself things don't hurt my feelings, but they do bother me. I probably would have laughed in his face, stuck my middle finger up, and said, “Ha. Fuck you, asshole.” Maybe not the best approach, but hey. I'm a Renaissance Woman.

    I love you, Jen. You are an incredible woman making incredible strides. People like that don't matter, and they have got to have a shitty life to feel like they can say things like that to others and not feel absolutely awful about it.

    Fuck him, exclamation point.

    Reply
  3. Jen
    April 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm (6 years ago)

    Thanks, ladies! And Summer: love “Fuck him, exclamation point.”

    Reply
  4. Eric, Marilyn, and Elliott
    April 13, 2011 at 10:56 pm (6 years ago)

    What a black, damaged, sucking-wound of a soul this guy must have. He must be such a scared and angry person inside. You could almost feel sorry for him. Almost. If he wasn't a GIANT ass with a TINY penis, that is.

    Reply
  5. Katie B.
    April 14, 2011 at 1:55 am (6 years ago)

    I'm sorry, Jen! Some people are just mean. I'm sure he's a miserable prick. I hope you imagined you were smashing his face the whole time you were in kickboxing!

    Reply
  6. Jen
    April 14, 2011 at 3:30 am (6 years ago)

    Eric & Marilyn: I nearly peed myself when I read your message! hahaha Thanks!! And Katie: I totally was picturing his face!! Very cathartic.

    Reply
  7. Stephanie
    April 14, 2011 at 5:42 pm (6 years ago)

    What a jackass. I'm SO sorry. If I'd been there, I would have shot him.

    Okay, not really. But I would've beat the hell out of him with my bare hands. I'm very scrappy when provoked.

    You look amazing, Jen, but most of all you ARE amazing. xo

    Reply
  8. Dawn
    June 19, 2016 at 1:47 pm (5 months ago)

    I bet he couldn’t keep up with you at the gym. You are a powerhouse!

    Reply

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  1. […] too long ago I encountered a man in a Target parking lot who had the nerve to call me “fatass.” It crippled my self-esteem that day, yet it also […]

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