Sometimes I ask myself, “When will I be happy with my weight loss?” There are times when I think that I don’t even care about losing anymore weight. What I care about is exercising regularly. Preparing healthy meals consistently. Spending time doing things I love, like volunteering, reading books, running and watching movies.
There are lots of things that make me happy in this life, and it doesn’t always revolve around losing weight. When I see the scale go down another pound, it’s true, I am ecstatic. But I think what I’ve learned along this weight-loss journey is that losing weight is more — far more — than actually dropping pounds.
And it’s a good thing I feel that way, because lately I have lost very little weight. In fact, in the scheme of things, I’ve gained weight in recent months. I once weighed 289. When I started tracking my weight on this blog, I was at 275. I dropped down to 220 at one time (!) and then slowly my weight crept up to 230…and I stalled. For months. And that, of course, affected my psyche. Which, in turn, caused me to gain 20 lbs. back. I certainly can gain weight A LOT quicker than I can lose it.
As much as this sucks, this is also part of life. This is part of the journey. I am learning things along the way. I haven’t given up. I WON’T give up. And that alone is something that never occurred in the past. In the past, if I had a setback like this, I would throw in the towel. I would’ve given up a LONG time ago. This time, I’m still running. I’m still tracking Weight Watchers points. I’m still trying each and every day.
My friend Jamie, who recently started a blog called “Sneezing in Windy Places,” wrote in a post recently addressing how sometimes you have to just get out there and try, even if you don’t know what you’re doing at first:
“It is somewhat like a person on a diet trying to lose weight. The end goals are slimming down and improving health, but simply sitting around and fantasizing about having a smaller waist line will get her nowhere… It takes time. With time comes growth. Along the way, the dieter might discover that she really loves running and it becomes an enjoyable part of her routine. Something that never seemed like a possibility becomes a daily reality…”
She’s so right. Fantasizing gets you nowhere. That’s why each and every day I try. And as I try, I grow. I realized Saturday after I ran the Race for the Cure 5K that I have now run 10 races (a mixture of 5Ks, an 8K, a 10-mile run and two half marathons). It’s a wonderful feeling knowing how far I’ve come, even when I still have some distance to go.
While it may come with a whole lot ups and downs along the way, allowing yourself to grow and learning to love yourself, that is the end goal.