Have Sex With The Lights On

Last week while I was off in Kentucky at a trade show for work, I missed the news that apparently Weight Watchers is addressing the need for larger women to feel better about themselves in the bedroom …

… by sending them a “mood” light bulb that dims the brightness of the light.

Because, you know, big women shouldn’t feel comfortable enough with themselves to have sex with the lights on.

I read about this ridiculous PR campaign, which was first rolled out in Australia and New Zealand, at Refinery 29. Bridie Jabour, a reporter for the Guardian Australia, sent a tweet with this photo of the light bulb and the marketing language:

God forbid our partner sees our fat rolls or cellulite or stretch marks. He or she would probably go running for the hills, right? We can’t possibly be appreciated for who we are, for our intelligence or humor, and there’s no way in hell anyone can find our fat bodies attractive. And we certainly are so embarrassed by them that we need to have sex in the dark.

Well, guess what Weight Watchers — that notion that bigger women are afraid of sex or ashamed of our bodies is pure bollocks.

Even if we feel self-conscious about our bodies, and I understand that some people do (at times I do, too), we should be preaching ways to learn to love ourselves. To not feel like we have to hide or diminish ourselves to make someone else happy — to make ourselves happy. We should learn to feel happy with who we are as we are.

Now I don’t deny that some of us feel like we are a work in progress — I do feel that way. There are things that I want to work on, and losing some weight is one of them.

But I’m not too embarrassed to have sex. I am not denying myself one of life’s pleasures because I am unhappy with my body.

In fact, I’m not unhappy with my body. I can choose to be a work in progress and be happy with my body. And I can choose to have sex with the lights on.

If you consider yourself a work in progress, or if you like yourself just as you are, you should be with someone who likes you for you, for who you are inside and out, and you should love yourself enough to have sex with the lights on. If you aren’t in that kind of relationship, and you don’t have that kind of relationship with yourself, then you need to work on loving yourself more, and finding someone who loves you just as much.

Using a “mood” light bulb is not the answer. Letting a company shame you into losing weight is not the answer. Disconnecting from your body so that you don’t find happiness and pleasure in it is not the answer.

Have sex with the lights on. Do it proudly and boldly and with confidence. Enjoy yourself and your partner and your bodies, just as they are.

Don’t let a “mood” light bulb determine your view of your body.

1 Comment on Have Sex With The Lights On

  1. Beth Bryan
    October 24, 2016 at 7:44 pm (1 month ago)

    Oh geez. 1000% agree.

    In fact, my neighbors would probably appreciate me putting up curtains to hide their view of my big ol naked bootie running all over my house most days. #noshame


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