New Beginnings: Hard But Necessary

new beginnings

It’s April 17 — exactly 15 days since my last blog post. It’s been difficult to come to grips with this because I never thought blogging would be something I feel uninspired to do. Let’s face it: I always have something to say. But lately I haven’t felt like saying much. Or at least, I’ve had a hard time putting words to what I’m saying in my head.

Am I making any sense here?

Let me back it up a bit…

On Nov. 9, 2016, my life changed. While I had already become a published author by self-publishing my book Fat Girl Power, Nov. 9 was the day I celebrated this achievement with my family and friends. I got to hug many of the people who encouraged me during this year-long process, and thank them for their support. It was truly one of the coolest experiences ever, and I will never forget that day.

But after that day, I was left with the question: What now? I knew I had to promote my book, get out there and talk about body positivity and how regular exercise changed the way I see myself, even if the scale doesn’t change. I wanted to reach people to tell them how much fun fashion is, no matter their size. But after the build-up, the writing and editing and marketing and promoting, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. What would my to-do list look like now?

Of course this day also happened to be the day after Trump was elected president and, as those of you who know me or have been reading my blog for some time can surmise, he is most definitely #notmypresident. Maybe this sounds dramatic to some, but I was honestly in a state of mourning for the country I thought I knew. As I wrote about before, writing about fashion or fitness or anything at all, really, felt miniscule. It felt petty. I felt like I just needed to shut up.

What I’ve been reminded about since then, however, is the confidence to move forward, no matter what you’re facing in your life (or what the country is facing), is paramount. Without that “go get ’em” attitude, we can accomplish nothing. Because everything we do, each day at work, each day at home, takes drive and the will to get up, get out of bed and accomplish something.

So that confidence is something I will never stop working on or stop striving for. Sometimes, in comparison to what we face in this world, it seems a trivial thing to focus on. But I am trying to remember that feeling good in your own skin, and helping others feel good in theirs, is no small feat. Otherwise we wouldn’t have the need to talk about or write about it or encourage others. It would just be. Sadly, a lot of us aren’t quite there yet. We need that support and that kick in the pants to look ourselves in the mirror and say: I like you. I like you just as you are.

Of course, after all of this I also found out about another life-changing event — having a baby! It’s definitely been all-consuming, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. So while I may not blog as often as I did, and I may not be as active on social media as I’d like, I am here. I am listening. I will continue to write for you, to write for me, and hopefully we can grow together in how we feel about ourselves and how we help others.

This may not quite be a new beginning — more like a “refresh.” But even if it’s just to refocus my purpose after a time period that feels like a roller coaster, it’s empowering. It allows me to shift my thinking from “What now?” to a more hopeful, more energizing, “What’s next?”

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