I am now 31 weeks pregnant, and I’ve definitely discovered some funny things about this experience that I thought I’d share with you. We all need a good laugh at the end of a long week, right?
1. Everyone wants you to get pregnant, and then they’re quick to point out your “life is over.” Yup, cheerful, huh? But I’m not kidding! It seems this happens with a lot of milestones in life. Everyone wants you to be in a relationship, and then they joke that you’ll miss single life. Once you get married, you’re tied down to the “ol’ ball and chain.” Then when you decide to have a kid, you’ll never sleep again and life as you know it is over. Certainly until you experience relationships, marriage and parenthood for yourself, you don’t know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. Still, I think most of us are smart enough to know it’s not always a cakewalk. I try to laugh these comments off because I know everyone means well. But I’m curious what everyone will want me to do, then warn me against, next!
2. I can no longer move without moaning and groaning. Every time I drop something on the floor now, I legit look at it for a moment and think, “Do I really need that?” Getting up from the couch, out of bed, putting on shoes … every action is accompanied by a groan that should really only be emitted by people in their 80s experiencing joint pain.
3. Sleeping is an activity I steel myself to attack each night. When getting ready for bed, I have to arm myself with the right pjs, water, Tums, tissues and pillows. Those pillows have to be arranged “just so” and then position 1 begins. At some point, I shift into position 2 while trying not to groan and wake up my husband. Position 3 usually results in me sleeping propped practically upright, if I haven’t thrown a hissy fit with all pillows and covers thrown off me, bursting into tears. Which yes, has happened at least once. And while I start the night off nice and cool with the ceiling fan and air conditioning on, I’m always hot and sometimes flushed by morning.
4. Reading online articles has become an exercise in humor as well as avoidance. I recently read an article on how to sleep better during pregnancy that suggested I roll over “like a log.” How on God’s green earth do you roll over not like a log? Do people curl up and then unroll, like a caterpillar? Between silly advice like baking cookies for the nurses at the hospital before you go into labor (I’m sure I will love my nurses and want to thank them profusely with baked goods and more after I give birth, but I can’t imagine keeping freshly baked cookies on-hand for the off chance that I go into labor that day or the next), to dodging articles on everything that can go wrong during delivery — I just don’t need to read that right now — I’ve stopped following a lot of “mommy groups” and websites online. It’s just better for my mental state!
5. Hormones are no joke. For real. When I first learned I was pregnant I inevitably had a little breakdown every Friday night. The long workweek usually got to me, and I’d have a little crying spell on my husband’s shoulder. He’d comfort me and I’d be OK. Well lately those episodes have gotten a little more intense, and my annoyance at other things — like drivers not using their blinkers when changing lanes — is also growing. Commercials make me weepy, videos of cute kids make me cry and seeing our girl’s face on the ultrasound causes silent tears to fall for way longer than is probably normal. But I’m surrounded by awesome people who understand, and I appreciate them handling my emotions!
If you have any funny stories to share with me about your pregnancy, please do so in the comments or on my Facebook page!