Just Breathe

It’s 6:42 a.m. and I am sitting in Penelope’s room listening to her breathe while she sleeps, squirms a little and then starts evenly breathing again. That lightweight sleep where you doze in and out, still foggy with dreams from the night before but the day’s to-do list is starting to creep into your head — I miss that lazy way of waking up.

These days I tend to wake up with a start. I’ve either heard a noise on the monitor so I quickly check that Penny is OK. Or I maybe haven’t set an alarm, since she is my alarm most days, but I’m fearful I won’t be able to get up and get everything ready for the day before I start work.

I’ve had the luxury during the last month or so of working from home, but that’s about to change soon and I’m panicking a bit. Going back to waking up extra early so my husband and I can both get ready for work, and get Penny ready for daycare, and then make it to the office on time has me worried and anxious.

But sitting here this morning, listening to her sweet breath, watching the slight rise and fall of her tummy. In and out. In and out.

It’s a reminder to just breathe.

We are all barreling through life at a million miles a minute. So many times each day I forget something, because I don’t take time to simply think things through. I dash from one task to the next, filling my time with to-dos and checklists and lunches and far too many things I want to do, plan to do, that never get done.

And then I feel the guilt. Why can’t I get all of this done? What are my priorities? How can I work on my time management?

I think often, the number of tasks we expect ourselves to accomplish in a day is just too great. The pressure we put on one person — me, you — to do it all is too heavy a burden to bear.

I am taking now, starting right now, to prioritize what are my must-dos and what can wait. What can be put aside. What really doesn’t need to be done at all.

And I’m going to rock in this chair and listen to my baby breathe.

And I will just breathe, too.

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